Tuesday, February 12, 2019

New to the game? Or simply slow?

Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore.  –  Wilson Mizner
A little advice on dealing with professionals, and I would like to talk about that subject at length today.  There are a number of essays and lists of “dos and don’ts” for escort clients available on the internet, but I don’t think it hurts to add another one because it gives a broader view of what different working girls consider important.  This is not a list of my personal pet peeves, but rather commonsense advice and warnings against behaviors I know annoy most whores rather than those which just annoy me in particular.
Don’t ask rude, stupid, pointless or prying questions, or those to which you don’t really want to know the answer.
This could almost be a column by itself; day after day we’re asked the same questions which one would think men would have better sense than to ask, but obviously don’t.  My own pet peeve is, “Are you clean?”  Now, think about this for a minute; do you honestly think an expensive call girl won’t be?  And if you’re dealing with a streetwalker, do you honestly think she’ll tell you the truth if she isn’t?  Just keep your eyes open and be as scrupulous as we are with condoms and you won’t have to waste your time with this rude and pointless question.  Then there’s, “What’s your real name?”  If she wanted you to have it, don’t you think she would’ve given it to you?  Again, both rude and pointless.
If you live in a police state where our trade is suppressed (such as the US), a number of questions fall into this category, such as the amazingly stupid, “Are you a cop?”  This derives from the myths about undercover cops (largely spread by druggies) which claim that there is some magic formula for detecting them.  Nothing could be farther from the truth; a cop can lie, cheat, misrepresent himself, bring up the subject of sex first, take his socks off, or even shag a girl to completion and still bust her, and it won’t ruin his case one atom because even if there were rules of this sort (which there aren’t), he would just perjure himself and claim he didn’t do whatever it was he wasn’t supposed to do.  If the streetwalker you’re trying to pick up claims she isn’t a cop, the statement is worth exactly what it cost her to make:  Zero.  Another such question is, “Is this legal?”  How the hell is the girl supposed to answer that?  I mean really!  “No, I’m a criminal?”  All this question does is to make her uncomfortable and to cause her to wonder if she’s being taped.  An even worse (and unfortunately far more common) one is, “What do I get for my money?”  If a girl ever answers this question with anything more specific than, “You get an hour of my time,” you should suspect that you’re being taped because no experienced girl worth the money would ever say anything else.
The last category includes such questions as, “How many men have you seen today?” or “Are you married?” or “Has anyone ever hurt you?”  Maybe the real answers would turn you on, but they might also turn you off, and your escort has no way of knowing which.  You might very well think you want to know the answer, and then change your mind when you hear it.  So it’s best to avoid these kinds of questions in the first place, and if you ask something which the girl seems not to want to answer don’t press the issue.
Be clean.
Just that simple; give a professional the same respect you would give an amateur.  Take a shower, shave, brush your teeth and cut your fingernails.  Change into clean clothes and refrain from smoking in her presence unless she is also a smoker or has ashtrays available to signify it’s OK.  If you’re uncircumcised, clean the area under your foreskin thoroughly, and if you have any sort of skin condition please clean it properly and let her know what it is as soon as you disrobe.  And if you see even the slightest sign of any kind of sexually transmitted disease, please seek medical attention immediately and do not even attempt to hire a girl until your doctor pronounces you clear!
Employ normal good manners.
I know proper etiquette is less common than it used to be, but c’mon guys, this isn’t rocket science.  Just try to remember all the things Mommy taught you; ask rather than demanding, say “thank you” at the end, answer the door in at least a bathrobe, take off your hat when a woman is in the room, etc. You’ll be surprised how much of a difference it makes in your experience.
Remember that we are businesswomen and that this is our business.
You wouldn’t make a cashier have to ask for her money, and you shouldn’t make us ask either; different girls want the money handed over in different ways, but we all want it up front.  Also, you wouldn’t expect a plumber, exterminator or another professional to “hang out” with you off the clock after the job for which he was contracted was done.  Good call girls try to create an exciting illusion for you; don’t destroy it by forcing us to remind you that we’re there for the money.
Be where you say you’re going to be when you say you’re going to be there.
If you’re going to an incall, try to be on time and call if you’ll be more than five minutes late; if the girl is coming to you, don’t leave to go to the store, the ice machine, the front desk or the ATM when you expect her any minute.  You should have done those things long before; if there is a real emergency just call to tell her so she can delay arriving for the time it will take you to get back.  And if there’s a substantial delay which is your fault rather than hers, please don’t be an ass if she cuts the session a bit short; she may have other appointments and she didn’t force you to arrive half an hour later than expected.  Finally, if you get cold feet please call to cancel, and if she’s already on the way just face her like a man and pay her cancellation fee ($50 is fairly typical for a call girl); she may have turned down other appointments to keep yours, and it isn’t her fault you misplaced your balls at the last minute.
If receiving a date at your home or office, provide basic necessities.
One would think this would be obvious, but one would be wrong.  A man who would never invite a social date or a business contact to a place without furniture, running water, air conditioning or heat may think nothing of inviting a business date to such a place.  Here’s a word of advice, guys:  Next time, use the $300 to buy a bed or air conditioner or have water installed, or else find a place which already has those things.
Don’t have anyone there who isn’t participating.
You may simply want to show your friends the choice bit of tail you’re about to enjoy, but she may find it very threatening to have a door opened to a room full of guys, even if they immediately file out as soon as she arrives.  I’ve left calls (with the money) because drunk and/or obnoxious frat boys or convention attendees keep banging on the door, ringing the phone or trying to take my picture through the crack allowed before the chain stops the door, and so would any other girl with a particle of common sense or an iota of self-esteem.  Arrange your liaisons when your friends won’t be around, or if others will be there ask if it’s OK up front (as in the case of a bachelor party).  Also, I really don’t care if your son or daughter is “too young to understand”; hire your whores on weekends when you don’t have visitation, or at least find a babysitter for the time you need.  We’re not monsters without maternal instincts out of Victorian propaganda, so having a child in the next room is very uncomfortable for many of us.
Don’t try to turn her into a criminal.
If you ask her to bring drugs, she’ll probably just hang up on you because cops love to get two busts for the price of one.  And don’t ask her to tell the agency you canceled, then come to see you anyhow; not only is this dangerous for her since nobody will know where she is but also puts her job at risk because the agency will fire her the second they find out she’s stealing calls.
Keep your fingers outside of her body.
 the average professional strongly dislikes having dirty, rough, bumpy fingers forcibly inserted (often without warning or lubrication) into her vagina, anus or even mouth.  Even surgically clean fingers with nails trimmed down to the quick can be terribly uncomfortable, and once the man starts to wriggle them around violently it can become acutely painful.  If you have a fetish for this please ask if it’s OK before doing it, and abide by whatever answer you get.
Don’t even ask to go without a condom.
Even though we hear it all the time, it doesn’t mean it isn’t annoying or even infuriating.  If you want a whore to think of you as an imbecile or a fool, “Do I have to use a condom?” is the most effective way.  If you want to insult her at the same time, opt for “How much to do it without a condom?” instead.
Respect her limits.
Just because you’ve hired a girl to do a job does not make her your slave.  If she tells you she doesn’t “speak Greek”, don’t try to penetrate her anally.  If she is uncomfortable with some fetish you didn’t bother to warn her about, leave it alone.  If she doesn’t want to give you her home telephone number or let you take her picture, drop the subject.  A professional is not some naive schoolgirl you can seduce into doing something against her will; all you’re going to accomplish is annoying her and wasting the time you paid for, and if she feels threatened enough she will leave and you will be out your money with nothing to show for it.
Above all else, just apply common sense and common courtesy; scour every trace of the Madonna/whore duality and the myth of the wanton out of your mind and treat a prostitute as you would treat any other businesswoman and you can’t go very wrong.  You’ll be the kind of client professionals like to see rather than the kind we dread, and you’ll find your experience is much more rewarding and fulfilling because of it.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

A nymphomaniac?

Far from being a problem with pejorative connotations or to see it as something distorted, has become a subject of clinical treatment called hypersexuality.
When still a desire to become a disease?
Someone must put the limit of sexual libido and frequency, and in my point of view, I do not think anyone has the power to accurately assets, we all have our time and wishes to a greater and lesser extent.
The only thing that is clear is that the protagonists of this sexual power, given its repetitions, are testosterone and estradiol.

The causes can be either psychological or organic, in the latter case for very serious causes product of brain injuries, brain, the issue would be serious, should be psychological cause is the constant quest to be appreciated, dear valued leads them to the constant need to have sex to express their emotional deprivation, which leads to frustration and incrementing the purely physical sexual desire, a vicious circle in which the addition is clearly the engine.
In short, it is a reaction to fill your lack of self-esteem and affection.

Key signs that make you see if your partner is nymphomaniac.
Notes their uncontrollable desires of sexual desire, wherever and however, even with a taste for pornography or masturbation, suspiciously and pronounced.
Usually, you feel bad and guilty after genital stimulation.
They never feel full and happy after, on the opposite, they feel a  sense of emptiness and guilt that invades them for a while and wanting to repeat to try to fill it with pleasure. 
During the time of your intimacy often show neurotic instincts, discomfort and even unhappy with things that have nothing to do with you, as the concentration does not exist for them.
Do not forget that is, nothing reflective of obsessive behavior.
For these people, sex is a way to escape their problems of loneliness, depression, and anxiety, so they not even have orgasms and hence the great interest in resuming sexual intercourse by their great dissatisfaction, on the other hand, they will never satisfied.

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Why so quiet?

So recently someone told me they hadn't booked me because I have been very quiet and just assumed I wasn't working. I am still working however my online presence has significantly decreased. It comes down to a work-life balance.

As those who follow me know, I used to work 6 days a week in another job. I lived in a small town where everyone knew each other so I kept wearing my mask that made everyone think I was this innocent, moral person. An upstanding member of the community. After work, I would come home and go online and chat to you all. I would spend hours online in this secret community where I was able to be myself without judgment. 

Now that I'm moving back to Dubai and am no longer working in that field I am slowly transforming my whole life.. This is both exciting and sad to say but I finally have friends (Not the ones that you pass in the shopping centre occasionally and promise each other to meet up on a day that doesn't exist). It's a learning curve.. I am so lucky to have met some wonderful people that dare I say force me to be myself and open with them.

I am still available to see you by appointment and occasionally I check twitter to see what you've all been up to but other than that I'm just finding my place in the world. So please keep in touch don't forget about me, I would still love to see you all, because as much as I love my new friends I still need some loving of a different kind.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Why Do I Even Have A Website?

This post is strictly for the gentlemen out there who are guilty of this particular faux pas: Not reading my profile. It is the pet peeve of every companion I know. We are always complaining that clients don’t read our profiles, where we list what we do, where we are, how late we work, and what the rates are. Still the phone will ring and some idiot at the other end will ask, “Aww do you just do blow-jobs?” At this point I want to bang my head against the wall, and then follow it up with banging the fool at the other end of the line’s head.

It is almost like going into a nice restaurant, looking at the menu, and just ordering the soup! WTF!

I do often wonder if clients think I put up a profile for decorative reasons, to add some local color to the web? No, it is there to inform you of some things about me and my service. To help you to decide if I am what you are looking for. It isn’t there just to provide wanking fodder and a phone number when the pictures no longer suffice and you want to be talked through your one-handed session. I can send you another number for that.

A few guidelines( yet again, doubtful they will be read):

1. Before you call an escort, try to formulate a few intelligent questions. Write them down and reread them to yourself, so you don’t sound like the village idiot with too much free credit on his phone.

2. Texts are free now. Learn to text in whole sentences. The likelihood increases that 1) I will read your text, and 2) respond to your text.

3. Spit it out! Meaning, there is basically nothing I haven’t been asked before, so just tell me what you are looking for. Trust me, your kinky fantasy is probably quite tame.

4. And maybe this is right up there with reading my profile, when you have booked, and I am giving you directions, L-I-S-T-E-N!!! There is a reason.

5. I know I am wasting my time writing this.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

My philosophy to life and escorting

It must be my age, I am getting older and obviously more introspective. God help us all. Not, being a religious sort, I am still spiritual and have moments when I reflect on things, and below I have gathered my humble view for your consideration.
No. 1 Shit happens! Would be the first tenet of my philosophical beliefs. Seriously, shit does happen, and it happens to all of us, but especially to a working girl. And the first lesson you learn, if you are to last in this game is to develop a thick skin, and do it quickly! There isnt anything that is born out more clearly daily, especially when dealing with people, read-men, horny men at that- that shit happens. Literally and figuratively.
No. 2 There in nothing you can do about shit happening! Yup, again this extends to life and escorting, when shit happens, usually there isn’t sweet fuck all you can do about it, except think quickly how to get out of the shit.
No. 3 Accept that shit happens, quickly! The quicker you accept that shit happens, the happier you will be. Seriously, you will come to discover that the Gallic shrug is your best friend for most situations. Shaking your head in disbelief is a close second, and just falling over and laughing is bringing up the rear, to round off this trifecta of things to do when shit happens.
No. 4 Control over shit happening.the quicker you accept that shit happens, and you have no control over shit happens, the less it seems at shit happens to you.

No. 5 It isn’t all about you!Stop taking things so personally! The washing machine didn’t break down, because it is pissed at you and wants to make your life difficult. The washing machine broke down because it just did!
No. 6 It doesn’t revolve around you!You are not the center of the universe! I know this comes as shock to most of my clients, when it is discovered that I am not going to jump through hoops, but funnily enough once they accept this, things just seem to flow so much easier.
No. 7 It’s too hard! just because something is difficult doesn’t mean it isn’t meant to be, your approach might just not be right for this instance. Change approaches, or perspective.
No. 8. Leave it alone! sometimes the best thing to do in some circumstances is to just leave things alone, be it an itchy spot on your bum, or a messy situation. Just doing nothing, when you don’t know what to do is sometimes the best thing. Difficult when you feel you must be in control, but it can sometimes be the best thing.

Monday, March 27, 2017


I am always on the lookout for something new and interesting in the way of lingerie, being that it is the foundation of my work, it helps to always look for something different and interesting. Not for the pleasure of the client, which is usually a given, but for my pleasure. I remember the first time I put on a pair of La Perla knickers, I felt instantly sexy, and a bit grown up. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the comfy pair of cotton girly boxers, but for the wow effect, you need to splash out for the good stuff. Spend a bit on the expensive stuff, tease and tantalize your man  or yourself for that matter.

French lingerie is often hailed as the most sexy, and the most lusted after, but I must say the English do have their own home grown brand of naughtiness that makes for some serious in the bedroom fun.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Anal Play Anyone?

Anal sex has come a long way, baby! Nearly 20 years ago, about 20 to 25% of women and men had engaged in anal sex. But in 2009, when ndiana University conducted the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB)--the most recent, up to date study of sexual behavior in America--they found that one of the most striking changes in American sexual behavior in nearly 20 years had to do with anal sex. As many as 40% to 45% of women and men in some age groups reported having engaged in it.
Anal play is more than just intercourse. It can involve fingering, licking, and toys. It's fantasy and role play. It's  for men who are on the receiving end, it's (quite often) prostate stimulation. Let's start with the basics: anal fingering.
Anal fingering can be a comfortable and gentle place to begin exploring anal penetration. Unlike when using a sex toy, during finger-play the fingerer can feel for himself what is going on inside a partner's bum and get a sense of the interior landscape. Fingering is often used to warm up the butt for bigger things to come--sex toys or a penis--but it can be an enjoyable end point all on its own.

Safety First

The anal tissues are delicate and can be torn easily, so make sure to trim and file your fingernails well before anal sex begins, thus eliminating any rough or sharp edges. If your nails are particularly long, pack them in cotton and wear a latex or non-latex glove. If you're fingering or being fingered by a non-monogamous partner, "no glove, no love" is a policy you might want to take literally.

What to Do:

Find a comfortable position in which the receiver can relax. A great deal of trust is involved when it comes to putting things in the butt, so many people like to start with the finger-ee on their back. In this position, partners can maintain eye contact and the person being fingered can see what is happening, including how many fingers are going in at once (that way, there's no surprises!) A pillow under the lower back is an easy way to prop up the behind without the receiver having to contort or balance on elbows.
There's not enough lube in the world to compensate for a lack of warm-up. So before anything is stuck anywhere, focus on the kinds of foreplay you typically enjoy together such as kissing, dirty talk, breast play or oral sex to get in the mood. Turn off the phone, dim the lights, play some relaxing music. And make sure to keep everything you'll need--gloves, lube etc.--bedside to avoid moment-killing fumbling. Lubrication is often the key between a good anal experience and the kind that turns people off of anal sex for life. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn't lubricate on its own when aroused, so it's important to use a personal lubricant. Lubes are made from various ingredients and come in a multitude of consistencies. 
When you're ready to try anal fingering, start by caressing the butt cheeks or teasing with kisses. With a well-lubed finger, circle the opening and "ring the doorbell"--tap the rosebud with the pad of a finger. This can be a good way to relax your partner's anus and gently open things up.
Ask your partner if it's okay to proceed. If given the green light, gently insert your index finger up to the first knuckle. Let your lover get used to the sensation and give the sphincter muscles a few seconds to relax; it might not be a bad time to check in again and make sure everyone is still having a good time. If and when your partner is ready for more, ease your finger further in; again, give your lover a chance to get used to the new sensation. If at any point your partner wants you to remove your finger, do so slowly and carefully.

If the two of you have decided to go in further, experiment to see what your partner likes. Explore the rectal walls with a gentle circular motion. Give a little wiggle. Try sliding your finger in and out, mix up the speeds and find out what pleases.
If you're the one getting fingered, don't be afraid to dictate the action. The first fingering is un-chartered territory for your partner and your feedback is all that he or she will have to go on. If something feels good, speak up! Everyone loves a compliment--especially a sex compliment. If you want something deeper or faster don't be afraid to ask. And definitely stop if something feels uncomfortable or painful.

Multiple fingers

Having mastered one finger, you might want to try two or more. One technique is to cross your gloved index and middle fingers into a mega-finger (make sure that mega finger is properly lubricated). Use the same methods as with one finger--go slow, and check in often with your partner. Again let the catcher be the one to call the pitches. (For the non-sports fans in the house: the person receiving the fingering gets to say what does or doesn't happen.)